in the end

the best of you becomes the worst of me. i chase a desire of wanting to be everything you are to me. an impossible task of imitating beauty just being, an awkward strange doubt in myself turning me inside out you are the kryptonite eating away at my soul theres no cure for. i was never a part of your past all i want is your future but im thwarted by here and now. every excitement is stolen from its innocence and rarity by tainted worries of entrapment. perfection is your weakness i hate you for. all of your downfalls sparkle in the eye of my love preventing me from walking away from guaranteed heartache and heartbreak. its a perfect picture with singed edges from a fire we werent responsible for. all i can do now is burn. how does a crippled man walk away?

a fight for love

the distinct physicalities of my verbal brutalities have pushed my deepest desires near hells burning fires. with a chance of losing it all from my very own bruising claims i cannot stand to be weighed down by my self made shackling chains. i am rising from the ashes lik a phoenix with lashes; the scars of survival from a punishing rival. a changed man now and nothing else will matter, the love of my life i will never let be battered; by me, by she, by they, by it, ive returned to the heavens and as a guardian i sit. weep not for now we are stronger, the pain past felt shall exist no longer. a sad tale of the misery this brought, but a truly happy ending to those who stayed and fought. we will love eachother with our hair turning gray, closer than ever untill the end of our days. we now reap the lovers benefits others have just missed, when you draw your guns i'll draw my wits.

circles

what is it to live amongst your dreams; how does one seek the means in which the dreams seems to end; are we then just to pretend of what may or may not be important ; must we import then a feeling of love, healing the glove our life hides in; now set free, our hearts glide in an insatiable tendency of unsustainable cycles which we cannot see; for it truly cannot be how we wish to be

stand alone

cyntrifical forces causin divorces ripin apart the love and marriage my lifes like cinderellas carriage at the stroke of midnight a never ending fight always transforming with no sign of warning and to my heart its brutality living on the edge of fatality uncertainty happens to be my only certainty i can never see the end i just take what i got and extend a seemingly divine wisdom add to it my mind and then some til i come to my conclusion that im stuck in seclusion you cant relate don't tell me you know this aint a motherfuckin debate shit aint great so fuck you and your philosophies thats the shit that ends up costing me as if i aint my own worst enemy God decides on sendin me some heavenly escort aka your advices that lock down my life in vices with ur controlling little devices til im constricted and suffocated and i decide to allocate the state im in back to you like the bird flu sweeping asia i will play ya til swat comes to get me standin over ur corpse. habeas corpus bitch.

A Nap to Remember

Joey, Gus, Mike and I had been driving on our second cross country roadtrip for 27 hours straight from Salt Lake City, Utah to St. Louis, Missouri. We were tired to say the least. After a night entitled "wyo-mess" we were finally safe in a big name city again. We get to the Millenium hotel directly between the Arch and over looking the baseball stadium where the Cardinals play close to 11am. Every one walks in and collapses on the two beds, Gus and joey in one and Mike on the other as I decide to shower before sleep.
The way the room is set up when you open the door the bathroom is on the right and you see straight down to the first bed against the window. I get out of the shower and Mike is knocked out in his underwear and has kicked off all the covers except for a small part of the sheets just covering his butt. I sit down next to him in my towel, turn on sportscenter and put my hands on the top of my head trying to relax.
Knock,knock,knock. "No thanks, we're good" I yell. Knock,knock,knock. "Roomservice?!" "Nahhh we're fine." then this middle aged black maid opens the door, looks at me across the room hands spread over my head in a towel and mike looked butt naked knocked out on the bed and she screams "OH SWEET JESUS!!!" Then slams the door. At first I didn't know why she freaked out and everyone woke up then i looked at mike and just started laughing. :/ she thought i boned my boy, gross.